Friday, May 29, 2009

Everything No One Tells You About Being a 1st Time Mom

How's that for a title?

Seriously though, I was lying in bed last night thinking about this post. Maybe this will comfort a first time mom in the thick of the first few weeks or maybe you had a WONDERFUL first few weeks with your child and you dont' relate at all (I'm happy for you, seriously), but here's what I learned about those first few weeks of being a new mom:

-You may want to give your child away to the first person that knocks at your door. I did. Maybe it was the combination of severe sleep deprivation (getting 1.5 hrs a sleep at a time), hormones and a crazy lifestyle change, but if you feel this way, don't feel bad. It's normal. A lot of new moms feel this way. It will pass, and you will come to to love that child like no other.

-Breastfeeding SUCKS. No pun intended. It hurts (it took a month before it stopped hurting for me). It takes work. It's not always natural. One would think breastfeeding would be natural, but sometimes it's not. If I wasnt 100% devoted to it, I would have given up on it the second day Brennan was born. Jon and I both shed many tears over this. Lactation consultants are PRICELESS. They are worth the extra money and time.

-You wont feel like yourself for awhile. Again, I think it's the combination of the sleep deprivation, crazy hormonal changes and a swift lifestyle change. This too will pass. I'm not a cryer, and I cried every day for a while there. I felt so CHAINED to Brennan since I was the only one that could feed him and I would just weep in bed with Jon (poor guy) lamenting on what I got myself into.

-You may get post partum depression. If it lasts a while, get help. I didn't, but have had several friends who have. Don't be ashamed.

-Keep telling yourself, "this too shall pass". Because it will. I was so thankful when my rough period ended, but at the same time I already miss the newborn stage. The time will go quickly- the good AND the bad- so enjoy the good and remember the bad (sleep deprivation, pain, soreness, etc) will be over with soon.

I know I have so much to learn and I'm such a rookie. Maybe I'll give another update in three months "what I wish someone would have told me age 3-6 months". We'll see. But honestly, if you had a very smooth and wonderful transition into motherhood, I think that's awesome. And I also want to shoot you because I'm jealous. :) just kiddin. . .


Ken said...

Chaeli - I was reading your posts and just smiling and nodding the whole time. I think I agree with every single statement you made, and when your full and pregnant and just looking forward to that little person inside of you, no one can tell you that it's not gonna be fun! And if they do, you won't believe them!! Thanks for reminding me of those hardships... I'll need the reminder again in a few months!! :)

erin morgan said...

hahaha!! That last post was by me, erin morgan, not my husband! :)

LaineCusi said...

I specifically remember telling you almost all of that when you and Katie came to visit after I had Seth. When I told you that breastfeeding was the worst thing ever you both looked at me like I had two heads. LOL Anyway, since Kane learned to crawl life has been so much better! I cant wait for him to start walking, then we can go to the beach again, go to the zoo, camping, ect. So exciting!

Chaeli said...

Erin- I was like, "who is Ken???" hahahah

Laine- You're probably right. And a lot of this stuff, you don't really understand until you just go through it yourself, you know?

Kgwillia said...

Hey, I didn't not look at Laine with two heads when she said breastfeeding sucks! or you Chae! I believe both of you, but like Chae says, you can't REALLY know until it happens to you.

So jeez, what's so hard about having a baby?? ;) I kid!!

jayfersgirl said...

I so agree about breastfeeding! Everyone makes it out to be so natural and easy, but it's NOT! The lactation consultant would have been worth about 10 times what I had to pay her:)
My mom encouraged me by saying "It's not that easy....why do you think there's an entire profession dedicated to helping women with breastfeeding? If it was easy, there would be no such thing!"