Thursday, January 12, 2012

I need your advice!

I kind of really hate it when people give out advice online. When it's not asked for. However, I'm asking!! So if you're a mom or dad, please respond! Here it is:

-What age did your child stop napping?
-How did you deal with the transition? (i.e. they stop napping yet are exhausted by 6pm)
-Did you continue to enforce "room time"?

Here's the scoop: Brennan will be 3 next month. I understand that 3 is an age a lot of kids stop napping. I also understand that each child is so different. Some kiddos (myself included) neeeed lots of sleep. I would come home from kindergarten and ask to take a nap (understand why having a newborn is hard for me? :) Some kiddos don't need much sleep at all. So there is no stead fast rule. I get that. I also understand that each parent has a different parenting style. Some of us are a little bit more laid back than others. Jon and I are figuring out our own parenting style and that's okay. Just wondering what your babies did, how you dealt with it, etc. And please word it in a kind way, if anyone's comment's sound as if "this is the only way to parent", I shall delete it. mmmkay? :) Thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Two first time parents who are fighting the nap time fight.


Trisha said...

Ha! If you come up with a solution, let us know. Honestly, I still struggle with this. Owen is pretty much done with naps now. For a while, we did spankings or taking things away when he came out. That really didn't work for us, mostly b/c Owen did not respond to that. Now, he still has "nap time" but he usually just plays in there. Sometimes he will fall asleep. I tell him he can't come out until I come and get him. Sometimes he is really good about it, and other times he comes out every 10 minutes. I am going to try an do room time for as long as possible. I like the time alone, and it's good for him too. I will say when Owen was three, it was much more difficult, but now that's he's a little older, he does better. Yes, night time is hard, b/c he is prone to meltdowns, but that just means an early bed time!

I wish we could force a child to sleep, but unfortunately, we can't. :)

jayfersgirl said...

B stopped napping at 3 on the dot, and it is a hard transition! She was tired really early and enforcing rest time has always just been too stressful - she just asks "Can I come out now? Now? How about now?" non-stop until the answer is "Yes" because she has worn me down;)
So instead we have a rest time together in our bed - she watches something and I read (or doze for a few minutes - she's safe in our bed, using me as a head rest do I feel just fine about that:).
Good luck! It is a hard transition for everyone and I didn't have a newborn coming!:)

jayfersgirl said...

Oh and my way is NOT the only way at all by any stretch of he imagination - I wish I had the patience to make the independent naptime work, but I don't and the stress of it wasn't worth it for me. I ended up having to apologize for being short with her and frustrated. And yes
I realize the alternative is just being patient - I opted for the other option of just not doing it and having a rest time together instead;). And on approximately 5 occasions since August, she has actually fallen asleep:)

Chaeli said...

Trisha- the problem we have is that nap time consists of a very dark room (with those dark out shades). If I was to transition to just "room time", I'd need to put some toys in his room and let some light in. I guess we could do that, it would just be a transition. All of his toys are in the play room (because I didn't want him playing with them at nap time!).

Trisha said...

Have you heard of busy bags? They are quiet activities that you can give your child to do when they are at a dr. office, in the car, or anywhere they need something quiet to do. I have never used them, and I don't really know if they would work with Owen. He's a pretty active boy, and he doesn't really "sit" well. You could google them. I think there are even some people that make them and sell them, so you wouldn't have to make them yourself.

Last spring and summer I really enforced lights off--in bed, no talking or playing b/c he really would not stay in his room. Now, I don't so much, b/c he stays in his room.

And sometimes I let him stay out in the living room and watch a movie. It gives us some good snuggle time b/c Liv is still napping. And I can usually get some things done.

Lacey said...

Gotta say, I love naptime. It's a good time for all of us to recharge our batteries, and for the kids to stop bickering with one another for a while. :-) It was hard for me when Grace and Caleb started homeschooling and didn't nap, because I was giving up all that peaceful alone time, but I've adjusted. To be honest, there are some days (especially Saturdays and Sundays) when ALL of the kids nap...Sometimes our big kids will read books or draw, other times they'll actually fall asleep. During the school week, Ava has a similar "naptime" where she has to stay in her room (on her bed) - sometimes she sleeps, sometimes she doesn't, but she is resting on her bed. Jaden still sleeps at naptime, praise the Lord!

Good luck with your naptime decisions! :-)

Jennifer said...

I don't remember when Hannah stopped napping. We did make her have rest time for an hour in her room. Noah stopped having a regular nap time this past summer. I tried to start it back up this fall, but it wasn't worth the fight. He'll sleep occasionally in the car on the way to get Hannah at school. Sometimes he'll put himself down on the couch and sleep. He sleeps better at night without a nap. I think you have to do what's best for you and your schedule. Maybe getting him in the routine of a rest time now might be good before the baby comes.

Meaghan said...

i clearly don't know anything about this... but i would suggest that since everyone is different, you gotta do what works for B so that he sleeps well, whether that means forcing a nap or letting him get used to no naps. i know we were all different, i definitely didn't take naps in kindergarten :)

The Feitl Family said...

We are all indeed so different. Our 7 year old still falls asleep at least once a week at rest and our almost 3 can catch 5 min in the car and be good to go. We all still have a rest time, even with homeschooling. Little one gets to have books in bed and usually music on. If she really fights laying down, we set up a tent. Big one, at this stage, gets to listen to books on tape or Adventures in Odyssey (Love, Love, Love - I am addicted too). We find the down time to be good for all.

Erin Zubert said...

With the boys sharing a room, it's getting harder and harder to have a peaceful rest/nap time. Lincoln has been fighting naps and throwing fits, but I know he's not ready to drop. Westin does a quiet rest time in his bed (required head on pillow otherwise he's all over the place) and I go back and check on him. If he's still awake I let him read books in bed.

I noticed that Westin went through phases of not sleeping and then he'd go back to 3 hour could just be a phase for B. Where I started having trouble was when I inadvertently turned it into a battle of the wills by telling him he needed to sleep. Now I tell him he doesn't have to sleep, he just needs to stay in bed and rest his body. It gives him a perceived choice and he's much more likely to stay in bed and maybe fall asleep. He still has days where he comes out a million times saying he feels like he's been in there forever. But the rule is he can't come out until I go in there to check on him and if he disobeys I make him "start over" and go back in bed for a set amount of time (ie 10 minutes more or whatever).

He's a pretty compliant child, but I know Lincoln is going to be totally different. Hence why he is still in a crib and contained. For your own sanity I would encourage the rest time in his room if nothing more than a half hour that you get to yourself. I've had people suggest putting a clock in their room and letting them come out when the clock reads a certain time, worth a shot maybe?

Laine said...

Evan's the only one that doesn't want/need to nap. He still has rest time though because I still need a break! He's a very compliant child so that makes it easy but I'd fight pretty hard to keep nap/rest time around for as long as possible! :)

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Look at me, posting on your blog! : ) Cailey was never a good napper - 35 minutes, even as a baby. I had her do "quiet play time" where she had to look at books on her bed for 30 minutes. If she got bored, she could play quietly in her room. I gave her my running watch with a 30 minute countdown going. Sometimes she fell asleep with it in her hands : ) but most of the time she played happily until it went off. It took awhile to get "QPT" going - I might have started out with 15 minutes. They still have QPT on the weekends - 45 beautiful minutes of quiet so WE can take naps! : ) Good luck!
Cathi : )

Anonymous said...

I should add that Cailey was close to 3 when she stopped taking her short naps and started QPT. She also started going to bed earlier. . and having TV time around 5:30 when she was sooo tired!